Rodziah Ismail Ticker's Blog

Culture

6 Personality traits to admire and acquire

by Brett Blumenthal – Sheer Balance, on Thu Jan 28, 2010 6:49am PST

I’ve written numerous articles and posts on difficult people, personalities and relationships: Everything from Manipulative Marys to Bullies in the workplace to people who break boundaries to toxic relationships.  Let’s face it:  In life, we come across all kinds!  As humans, we often focus on those who are negative or toxic leaving it difficult to appreciate those who are positive and healthy.  Seeking out individuals with healthy, positive traits, however, may do a lot of good.  The more we can surround ourselves with those who are positive and healthy, the more we may model those positive behaviors.

If you really think about it, once in awhile you come across a person who knocks you off your socks…legitimately.  Maybe they have a fantastic outlook on life, even during difficult times.  Maybe they are really humble, although they are extremely gifted.  Maybe they make you feel special.  All of these are good.

Below, I’ve listed some of the traits I admire most in people.  Although I could probably list a dozen characteristics, I thought I’d list those that seem to be the rarest or most difficult to find.

  1. Selflessness: In a world where many people don’t have the time or the interest in others, selflessness is a quality that seems to be less and less common.  People can be selfless in the time they give, the ability to listen, their level of patience and the love that they give.  Those who are giving and generous in nature have the power to make others feel loved, appreciated and special.  While those who are self-absorbed tend to do the exact opposite.
  2. Tolerance: Those people who are tolerant make us feel comfortable with who we are and special as individuals.  All of us are different, and many of us have quirks and idiosyncrasies.  After all, these differences make the world go round.  Having the ability to accept people for who they are and not expect them to be who we want them to be is important in life, happiness and in the health of our relationships.
  3. Genuineness: Having the ability to be real, authentic and honest is unique in a world where we put so much emphasis on the superficial.  Feeling comfortable in one’s skin and being true to one’s self is one of the most beautiful traits one can possess.  To have a REAL relationship with someone requires honesty…it requires hearing and giving input or feedback that may not always be popular…it means having the strength to tell it like it is and to not be afraid to face the consequences for doing so…it means loving people for who they really are…deep down…and not for what they appear to be.
  4. Sensitivity: So often we are focused on what is important to ourselves that we can forget about those around us.  Those who are sensitive are often thoughtful, appreciative and loving, in a way that makes you feel understood, valued and respected.  Often, sensitive people are also self-aware, making them mindful of how they impact others with what they do and say.
  5. Integrity: Call me cynical, but I think this characteristic is especially difficult to find.  In a time when people will do things that are underhanded to make an extra buck (Bernie Madoff…can you hear me?), expose their personal lives to the public so they can be famous (balloon boy’s dad and any other reality TV mongers) and do what feels good in the moment without necessarily thinking of the consequences (Tiger Woods), integrity is a characteristic that is especially unique today.
  6. Humility: Whether someone is super-smart, extremely talented or drop-dead gorgeous, there is something extra special about them if they don’t come across as though they know it all the time.  Humility in those that possess extraordinary traits make others feel special too.

Oh boy the list could go on!  What characteristics do you admire in others?  Are there any that you want to cultivate?

Originally published on Sheer Balance

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A first for a female director – unless her ex-husband wins

Almost two decades after they divorced, Kathryn Bigelow and James Cameron are reunited with nine Oscar nominations each for ‘The Hurt Locker’ and ‘Avatar’

By Guy Adams in Los Angeles

The Independent

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

A scene from James Cameron's Avatar
AP

Avatar has been nominated for nine Oscars including best picture

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It will be both a battle of the sexes, and a battle of the exes: James Cameron and his former wife Kathryn Bigelow are preparing to share the spotlight at next month’s Academy Awards, after their films Avatar and The Hurt Locker led the field by being shortlisted in nine categories when the Oscar nominations were announced yesterday.

Hollywood’s blue-riband event for 2010 is now likely to revolve around a David vs Goliath clash between two movies which, despite their intriguing provenance, couldn’t be more different in style and tone, and which have enjoyed compellingly different paths to success.

Cameron’s Avatar is an extravagant 3D science-fiction blockbuster with state-of-the-art special effects and a $400m [£250m] budget. It has topped the box-office charts since its release shortly before Christmas and this week became the highest-grossing film ever made, beating Titanic to pass $2bn in global ticket sales.

Bigelow’s war drama The Hurt Locker, by contrast, is a gritty look at a US army bomb-disposal team working in Iraq shortly after the 2003 invasion. It was pulled together on a shoestring budget of $11m. But despite winning critical acclaim and endless accolades this awards season, it made just $16m at the box office

Cameron’s film is widely seen to represent the future of Hollywood, with its huge profile and expensive 3D technology; Bigelow’s is an example of the virtues of independent movies, which are made outside the major studio system and have in recent years tended to struggle commercially.

The pair, who divorced in 1991 but remain friendly, were both shortlisted for the Best Director award. If Bigelow goes on to win that battle (and the bookmakers currently have her as the odds-on favourite) she will become the first woman to ever receive the accolade.

Asked how that felt, she said yesterday: “I am perhaps overwhelmed with joy. But I do hope that someday we can lose the modifier and that becomes a moot point whether the person is male or female and they’re just film-makers making statements that they believe in.”

The full line-up for next month’s Oscars was announced by actress Anne Hathaway early yesterday. While Avatar’s remaining seven nominations came in technical categories, The Hurt Locker got nods for its star Jeremy Renner as Best Actor, and writer Mark Boal for Best Original Screenplay.

In a second potential milestone, Precious, the hard-hitting tale of an abused black teenager in 1980s Harlem, got six nominations, including Best Film. “After 82 years, it’s the first film nominated for Best Picture directed by an African-American,” said its director Lee Daniels. “Isn’t that great? It’s so exciting.”

Gabourey Sidibe, the teenage star of Precious who won her part at an open audition while she was working at a call centre, continued her staggering rise when she was nominated for Best Actress. “As soon as I heard, I jumped up and down and for some reason I kept screaming, ‘I’m gonna get a car! I’m gonna get a car!’ I don’t know why,” she said.

Sidibe faces stiff competition from lofty rivals like Dame Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep, but her toughest opponent is perhaps Sandra Bullock, whose film The Blind Side is also a surprise nomination for Best Picture.

Despite mixed reviews, the tale of how a housewife adopts a black orphan teenager who goes on to become an American football star has been a huge hit with Middle America and was one of the top-grossing films of 2009, making more than $230m in the US.

The Blind Side benefited from a decision by the Academy to expand the number of films shortlisted for Best Picture from five to 10. The event’s organisers hope the move will put more commercial hits in the running and reverse a long-term trend of falling TV audiences for the awards ceremony.

Other surprising nominations for Best Picture were District 9, a South African science fiction satire about apartheid, which got a total of four nods, and Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds, which got a total of eight. Despite mixed reviews and a lukewarm reception at Cannes Inglourious has been a huge box-office success, taking more than $300m.

Jason Reitman’s recession comedy Up in the Air received six nominations, including two in the Best Supporting Actress category for its co-stars Vera Farmiga and Anna Kendrick, and one in the Best Actor division for George Clooney.

Clooney is up against the strong favourite Jeff Bridges, who has never won an Oscar but has been nominated for his portrayal of a washed-up country singer in Crazy Heart. Also fancied in the Best Actor category is Morgan Freeman, who played Nelson Mandela in Clint Eastwood’s Invictus. “This is my fifth nomination and I’m more proud of that than all the rest,” he said.

A final big winner was the Pixar film Up, which was shortlisted for five of this year’s 24 awards and is a shoo-in for Best Animation gong. The tale of an elderly man who attaches helium balloons to his house and flies to South America became only the second cartoon after Beauty and the Beast in 1992 to be nominated for Best Picture, perhaps reflecting the fact that animations have been the engine room of the Hollywood economy this year, accounting for five of 2009’s 15 highest-grossing titles.

Complete list of 82nd Annual Academy Award nominations

1. Best Picture: ‘Avatar,’ ‘The Blind Side,’ ‘District 9,’ ‘An Education,’ ‘The Hurt Locker,’ ‘Inglourious Basterds,’ ‘Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire,’ ‘A Serious Man,’ ‘Up,’ ‘Up in the Air.’

2. Actor: Jeff Bridges, ‘Crazy Heart’; George Clooney, ‘Up in the Air’; Colin Firth, ‘A Single Man’; Morgan Freeman, ‘Invictus’; Jeremy Renner, ‘The Hurt Locker.’

3. Actress: Sandra Bullock, ‘The Blind Side’; Helen Mirren, ‘The Last Station’; Carey Mulligan, ‘An Education’; Gabourey Sidibe, ‘Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire’; Meryl Streep, ‘Julie & Julia.’

4. Supporting Actor: Matt Damon, ‘Invictus’; Woody Harrelson, ‘The Messenger’; Christopher Plummer, ‘The Last Station’; Stanley Tucci, ‘The Lovely Bones’; Christoph Waltz, ‘Inglourious Basterds.’

5. Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz, ‘Nine’; Vera Farmiga, ‘Up in the Air’; Maggie Gyllenhaal, ‘Crazy Heart’; Anna Kendrick, ‘Up in the Air’; Mo’Nique, ‘Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire.’

6. Directing: James Cameron, ‘Avatar’; Kathryn Bigelow, ‘The Hurt Locker’; Quentin Tarantino, ‘Inglourious Basterds’; Lee Daniels, ‘Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire’; Jason Reitman, ‘Up in the Air.’

7. Foreign Language Film: ‘Ajami,’ Israel; ‘El Secreto de Sus Ojos,’ Argentina; ‘The Milk of Sorrow,’ Peru; ‘Un Prophete,’ France; ‘The White Ribbon,’ Germany.

8. Adapted Screenplay: Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell, ‘District 9’; Nick Hornby, ‘An Education’; Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche, ‘In the Loop’; Geoffrey Fletcher, ‘Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire’; Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner, ‘Up in the Air.’

9. Original Screenplay: Mark Boal, ‘The Hurt Locker’; Quentin Tarantino, ‘Inglourious Basterds’; Alessandro Camon and Oren Moverman, ‘The Messenger’; Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, ‘A Serious Man’; Bob Peterson, Pete Docter, Tom McCarthy, ‘Up.’

10. Animated Feature Film: ‘Coraline’; ‘Fantastic Mr. Fox’; ‘The Princess and the Frog’; ‘The Secret of Kells’; ‘Up.’

11. Art Direction: ‘Avatar,’ ‘The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus,’ ‘Nine,’ ‘Sherlock Holmes,’ ‘The Young Victoria.’

12. Cinematography: ‘Avatar,’ ‘Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,’ ‘The Hurt Locker,’ ‘Inglourious Basterds,’ ‘The White Ribbon.’

13. Sound Mixing: ‘Avatar,’ ‘The Hurt Locker,’ ‘Inglourious Basterds,’ ‘Star Trek,’ ‘Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.’

14. Sound Editing: ‘Avatar,’ ‘The Hurt Locker,’ ‘Inglourious Basterds,’ ‘Star Trek,’ ‘Up.’

15. Original Score: ‘Avatar,’ James Horner; ‘Fantastic Mr. Fox,’ Alexandre Desplat; ‘The Hurt Locker,’ Marco Beltrami and Buck Sanders; ‘Sherlock Holmes,’ Hans Zimmer; ‘Up,’ Michael Giacchino.

16. Original Song: ‘Almost There’ from ‘The Princess and the Frog,’ Randy Newman; ‘Down in New Orleans’ from ‘The Princess and the Frog,’ Randy Newman; ‘Loin de Paname’ from ‘Paris 36,’ Reinhardt Wagner and Frank Thomas; ‘Take It All’ from ‘Nine,’ Maury Yeston; ‘The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)’ from ‘Crazy Heart,’ Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett.

17. Costume: ‘Bright Star,’ ‘Coco Before Chanel,’ ‘The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus,’ ‘Nine,’ ‘The Young Victoria.’

18. Documentary Feature: ‘Burma VJ,’ ‘The Cove,’ ‘Food, Inc.’ ‘The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers,’ ‘Which Way Home.’

19. Documentary (short subject): ‘China’s Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province,’ ‘The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner,’ ‘The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant,’ ‘Music by Prudence,’ ‘Rabbit a la Berlin.’

20. Film Editing: ‘Avatar,’ ‘District 9,’ ‘The Hurt Locker,’ ‘Inglourious Basterds,’ ‘Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire.’

21. Makeup: ‘Il Divo,’ ‘Star Trek,’ ‘The Young Victoria.’

22. Animated Short Film: ‘French Roast,’ ‘Granny O’Grimm’s Sleeping Beauty,’ ‘The Lady and the Reaper (La Dama y la Muerte),’ ‘Logorama,’ ‘A Matter of Loaf and Death.’

23. Live Action Short Film: ‘The Door,’ ‘Instead of Abracadabra,’ ‘Kavi,’ ‘Miracle Fish,’ ‘The New Tenants.’

24. Visual Effects: ‘Avatar,’ ‘District 9,’ ‘Star Trek.’

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Information on Sexuality in Islam

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KARTIKA AKAN DIHUKUM SEBAT?

oleh Rozaini Mohd Rosli

Kartika hanyalah seorang isteri dan ibu kepada dua orang anak yang telah menjalani kehidupan seperti individu biasa yang lain sehingga kes Mahkamah Syariah beliau di paparkan oleh media masa seluruh dunia.

Liputan hebat yang diberi oleh dunia mengenai kes beliau memperlihatkan betapa perkara-perkara, khususnya kes-kes yang bersangkutan dengan Mahkamah Syariah diberi prominence (kepentingan yang utama) oleh hampir semua pihak.   Sebenarnya prominence yang sedemikian bukan yang pertama kali.

Apapun sebabnya prominence sedemikan diberi, kerjaaan Malaysia seharusnya telah mengambil maklum dan memastikan tidak lagi timbul sebarang lagi  kontroversi yang boleh menjunamkan imej mahkamah Syariah dan Undang-Undangnya di mata dunia.

Kes Kartika Sari Dewi Shurkarno yang didakwa di bawah Seksyen 136 Enakmen Pentadbiran Ugama Islam dan Adat Resam Melayu Pahang kerana meminum arak di khalayak telah menyerlahkan beberapa amalan yang tidak sihat dalam pentadbiran dan urusan berkaitan sebahagian kes-kes yang dibabitkan di Mahkamah Syariah Pahang.   Apakah amalan yang didakwa oleh mangsa sebagai berunsur rasuah itu berleluasa juga di tempat-tempat lain?

Perkhidmatan guaman yang lousy dikatakan menjadi salah satu ciri dalam proses pengadilan dalam Mahkamah Syariah.   Penguam yang mewakili Kartika telah tidak memberi beliau nasihat yang tepat dan telah tidak berfungsi sepenuhnya membela Kartika ketika perbicaraan berlangsung.   Beliau didakwa tidak mengamalkan profesionalisme yang dituntut sebagai seorang peguambela.   Sebahagian anggota pentadbir Mahkamah Syariah Pahang pula telah didapati oleh mereka yang tertuduh sebagai mengamalkan sesuatu yang di luar batas peraturan proses pengadilan dan penerimaan hukuman.    Unsur-unsur negatif yang mencemar Sistem Kehakiman Syariah wajar diselidiki dan dibanteras.   Malangnya, rakyat biasa masih takut untuk memberi keterangan, membantu mengislahkan keadaan yang tidak wajar berterusan.

Kes Kartika telah membuka berbagai isu yang telah tidak diberi perhatian untuk sekian lamanya oleh kerajaan yang berkuasa.

Salbiah Ahmad, seorang peguam, berpendapat bahawa Mahkamah Syariah sewajarnya memainkan peranan inquisitory sesuai dengan hasrat bahawa hukuman dan denda adalah

kea rah pembaikan individu dan masyarakat.   Maka implikasinya ialah keperluan terhadap pengetahuan yang cukup mengenai latarbelakang kes dan kondisi tertuduh.

Keadilan hanya akan berlaku sekiranya seluruh proses pengadilan itu mengikuti suatu proses yang adil dan telus juga, tanpa sebarang unsur diskriminasi dan negativiti seperti pentadbiran yang mencurigakan, rasuah atau lain-lain pencemaran yang boleh merosakkan kredibiliti dan integriti Mahkamah Syariah.

Sistem dan pengurusan undang-undang jenayah Islam adalah merupakan yang paling lembab diurus dan paling tidak cekap berbanding undang-undang yang lain.

Para pakar perundangan Islam berpendapat bahawa tidak ada halangan untuk melaksanakan Sistem Syariah dengan baik di negara ini.   Ia hanya memerlukan usaha penerangan yang sungguh-sungguh dari pihak kerajaan agar rakyat memahaminya dan yakin keadilan boleh dikecapi oleh rakyat jelata, Muslim atau non-Muslim.   Dalam beberapa tahun kebelakangan ini, satu perbincanagan mengenai harmonization di antara Undang-Undang Syariah dan Undang-Undang Sivil telah berterusan berlangsung.   Ia boleh dilihat dalam konteks hukuman atau denda (ta’zir) yang dikenakan ke atas pesalah – umpamanya dalam kes rogol, mengedar dadah dll. – di mana aspek halangan untuk mengulangi kesalahan (as a detterance) menjadi keutamaan dan tidak bercanggah dengan mana-mana peraturan dan undang-undang syariah. Kejayaan proses harmonization ini boleh menjadikan kedua-dua sistem ini mengamalkan keselarasan dalam perkara-perkara yang serupa agar keadilan dapat dilaksanakan terhadap rakyat secara seragam.   Ia memerlukan sikap proaktif yang tinggi dan komitmen yang mendalam dari pihak kerajaan dan golongan pakar undang-undang dalam negara, termasuk Jabatan Peguam Negara dan Mahkamah Syariah (dari setiap negeri) serta golongan intellektual Malaysia.

Wanita KEADILAN pula berpandangan bahawa pengetahuan mengenai undang-undang syariah, perlu dirakyatkan agar rakyat sepenuhnya mengetahui hak mereka dan keadilan berlaku dengan berkesan.   Dalam konteks Undang-Undang Islam, kelekehan kerajaan Umno-BN dalam memastikan profesionalisme  dalam pentadbiran, penguatkuasaan dan kehakiman sistem perundangan Islam sangat mengecewakan rakyat.   Apabila Menteri Dalam Negeri, Hishamuddin Hussein menjelaskan bahawa hukuman sebat ke atas Kartika tidak dapat dilaksanakan atas sebab tiada kesediaan untuk melaksanakannya, ia telah memberi gambaran betapa selama ini kerajaan Umno-BN telah lalai dalam tanggungjawab mereka meneliti setiap Enakmen Undang-Undang Syariah agar ia dapat disempurnakan dengan baik.   Amat dikesalkan lagi apabila Hakim bagi Mahkamah Rayuan Syariah Pahang belum dilantik sehingga kini.

Penyeliaan terhadap perjalanan proses keadilan dalam Undang-Undang Syariah adalah juga sangat lemah.   Sebahagian mereka yang telah terlibat secara langsung dengan Mahkamah Syariah  telah mengadu bahawa para peguam yang membela mereka seringkali menasihati agar tidak meneruskan perbicaraan dan menyelesaikan kes di luar mahakamah.   Berlaku juga unsur yang bertentangan dengan kehendak prosedur mahakamah syariah di mana pembayaran denda dilakukan dengan kadar yang berkurangan dan kes akan tidak dipanggil lagi seterusnya.

Ada peguam syarie yang dipilih telah didakwa oleh setengah pihak sebagai tidak menjalankan amanah dengan baik dan memberikan nasihat yang meleset dan tidak memelihara kepentingan yang dibela.   Para professional dan kakitangan yang terlibat dalam Mahkamah Syariah seharusnya menjadi golongan yang menjadi contoh kepada masyarakat dan yang berakhlak mulia bagi menjamin keadilan yang dituntut dalam Islam berlaku tanpa sebarang kecemaran.   Merekalah yang menjadi nadi agar Undang-Undang Islam diterima oleh keseluruhan masyarakat sebagai yang adil, telus dan memainkan peranan yang bersungguh-sungguh dalam menegakkan keadilan dan kebenaran dalam Mahkamah Syariah.   Mereka juga perlu memperlihatkan bahawa tindakan mereka merentasi sebarang bentuk diskriminasi kelas, ras,  keadaan sosial dan gender dalam melaksanakan tanggungjawab mereka.

Isu Kartika adalah unik kerana beliau sendiri menghendaki hukuman sebat dilaksanakan ke atas beliau.    Menurut Dr Majdah Nawawi (Universiti Islam Antarabangsa Malaysia), hukuman adalah mekanisme di mana pesalah melalui proses merasa bersalah di atas perbuatan mungkar mereka, insaf dan kembali ke jalan yang benar (siratulmustaqim, return to the Right Path), seterusnya tidak mengulangi perbuatan itu.   Muslim percaya bahawa hukuman di dunia yang disertai rasa taubat akan menerima pengampunan dari Allah swt dan memberi implikasi yang besar di akhirat kelak.

Penting juga dijelaskan bahawa hukuman jenayah dalam Islam bertujuan untuk melindungi kemaslahatan umum (public interest), dan mencegah mereka yang berpotensi melakukan kemungkaran dari melakukannya.

Kemahuan Kartika untuk menerima hukuman sebat yang telah dijatuhkan oleh Mahkamah Syariah Pahang ke atas beliau adalah dalam lingkungan hak asasi manusia.   Ia harus dilihat sebagai pilihan seorang insan untuk melaksanakan hukum Islam ke atas dirinya menurut kepercayaan dan keyakinannya sendiri.   Ia harus difahami dan dihormati.

Reformasi pentadbiran dan sistem Undang-Undang Syariah adalah menjadi tanggungjawab sekelian menteri, kementerian, Peguam Negara, pakar-pakar undang-undang dan para cendiakawan di Malaysia.   Sebarang kelengahan akan hanya menzalimi rakyat dan mereka yang tertuduh tanpa proses yang benar-benar telus dan professional sebagaimana yang dikehendaki oleh Islam.

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‘Relationships will never be the same again’

2009/09/27

THE effects of an affair can linger in a marriage for years. Betrayal, hurt and loneliness often lead to mental distress and emotional torture.

“The desire is normal but the act of adultery is due to factors such as the changes in nature of socialisation. More women may be committing adultery because of the influence of western culture.

“Changes in religious orientation makes adultery more permissible in the society,” says Access counselling services counsellor consultant Dr Meriam Omar Din.

However, the emotional pain, she says, does not differ by gender.
“I would say the trauma of an affair does not differ significantly by gender. The emotional pain is about the same. But perhaps, people cope with it differently depending on their family background and values in relation to adultery.

“People should accept the fact that men and women are vulnerable to sexual temptation when they become close, therefore avoid intimate relationships with the opposite sex.”

Meriam believes there are common mistakes that lead to adultery.

“Women are influenced to have sex due to love but men have sex because of sexual attraction. That’s the common belief. But perhaps there are other psychological reasons, including the need for attention and appreciation, self-esteem or respect achieved through sexual relationships.

“There are also mistakes made when they are not fully conscious of their actions when drunk or are manipulated by others who have a vested interest in them.”

The sense of betrayal and distrust, she says, have a lasting effect on the innocent partner.

“The betrayed partner will take a long time to recover and the relationship will never return to normal, no matter how hard the couple work towards it. The longer the affair has been kept a secret, the worse the effect when it is known.

“In the worst-case scenario, the victim can experience severe anxiety, depression or aggression, and this will make the relationship even more difficult and stressful to bear.”

Meriam says women should stay professional with working partners and avoid socialisation unrelated to work.
“Do not discuss your personal problems with a third party. Stay distant when you sense your relationship is turning to love. Romance is the early stage of a sexual act.

“There is no such thing as a harmless romance unless both are free and not committed to a marital relationship.”

There are early warning signs of an affair.

“If you have a high level of self- awareness, you will see the signs. But the problem is that some people are used to living in pretence and not addressing their real emotions.

“Not using logical thinking to consciously deny your ‘adulterous’ feelings will lead to adultery.

“Many find reasons and people to blame like, ‘I must have been charmed by the bomoh’ and ‘it is not on purpose’,” she says.

The effect on the innocent, Meriam believes, is higher when they are caught by surprise.

“Sudden unexpected news can result in mental and emotional disturbances due to the sense of humiliation and betrayal affecting a husband’s self-esteem.

“The risk differs greatly between husbands. Some husbands might keep their true feelings inside, look cool and act forgiving. Some may even interpret it as their fault resulting in depression and anxiety.”

NST Online

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Of Corporate Corruption

The Movie, The Informant

Review Summary

If you want to know why Steven Soderbergh tapped Marvin Hamlisch to write the zany score for “The Informant!,” a deadly serious comedy about corporate malfeasance, consider the title’s exclamation point. Like that unexpected mark of exuberance, which hints at fun times (yippee!), the brassy horns and racing piano notes of the neo-slapstick score — think of “Laugh-In,” “Bananas” and Benny Hill — initially suggest that Mr. Soderbergh has put on his party hat and broken out the kazoo. Except that he isn’t laughing, or at least not all the way through. The story he tells is too maddening for sustained mirth, so he kills the jokes, with a vengeance. “The Informant!” is a smart, cynical movie about how we buy now — oops, I mean, how we live now. Money makes the world go ’round in “The Informant!,” much as it does everywhere. — Manohla Dargis, The New York Times

Full New York Times Review »

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